How to steal fowl – the sure way! – Below are the guidelines on how to steal a fowl, Read and Laugh !!
Disclaimer: This post does in no way whatsoever encourage the stealing of fowls.. The post was written for entertainment purpose only as it was posted under the “Jokes” Category.. .. Read and laugh only, you are responsible for any other thing you do with this post.
If you are a farmer, its time to also know the methods used by thieves so you would catch them in no time 😂
In Nigeria or any other country you can think of, Stealing a fowl requires very special skills 😂. ..if you know, you know .. But If you’re caught, you are definitely on your own boss. From my 100,000 years of experience😂😂, I have combined a full list guideline to help you in your chosen career ! (Ewee 🙆🏽)
Here are the proven steps on How to steal fowl – from my 100,000 years of Experience.
How to steal fowl – the sure way from my 100,000 yrs Experience 😂!
1: First locate your Preferred fowl and monitor it closely.
2: Wait till it gets dark, then get ready for some adventure in the field. 😂
3: Wear an oversized shirt and trousers (u will get to know y later)
4: Go with a flash light/torch..( flash once in a while)
5: Make sure you don’t distract the fowls ..also don’t allow anyone to see you.
6: Point the torch directly to your fowl’s eyes and make your move(make sure you throw full length)
You are now reading: How to steal fowl – the sure way!
1: Once you’ve caught the fowl, close the mouth with speed to avoid noise.
2: Put the fowl inside your shirt and hold it firmly with your two hands.
3: Pretend as if you are catching cold and walk out of that area.
4: Go and enjoy your hustle… 😂😂
Tested and trusted 😁😁
From a life interview with John, he was kind enough to share some of the steps that has been working for him. He wrote to Divplanet saying
” December is fast approaching, and people are searching for how to steal chickens...lol .. I’m Just a normal guy, and I’m here to mind my own business.
But wait?? .. why would you even want to steal a chicken? I don’t understand, a very nice one can be gotten for less than ₦3,000 😅! or maybe 5,000 naira 👀.
This post is strictly for comedy reasons only, I do not intend to teach you bad thing .. lol .. I am a child of God ohh.. it only joke, and you know what we do with jokes don’t you? SHARE!!! 😅💃🥰
Now how did I get to know all these? It was not even revealed to me by mortal man. I mean, which flesh and blood can be filled with so much wisdom as I am about to drop for you my sisters (I don’t think brothers will be here or are they? 👀).. boys Oyeh!
How To Steal Life Fowl Like The ‘Pro’ You Truly Are
For even finding this post, first of all, you are a pro, Comrades don’t waste time, and we are heading straight to the post with our full chest;
– Identify the fowl
You cannot just pounce on any ordinary fowl you see, what if the meat is not sweet? A pro should know and spot what he wants and go for it like dano milk. LoL.
While it will be easier picking on a random fowl, knowing what you want can even be more interesting and sweet. Do you like white fowls? Maybe you want to take the only coloured one in the midst of the whites? It doesn’t matter, having a target makes it much more interesting and fun.
– Supercharge your monitoring spirit
It is said that you cannot succeed on your own right? Now it’s time to invoke some dark powers to place a watch on your choosen fowl.
Close your eyes and call the name of your secret crush three times. If nothing happens by the time you open them, then it’s time to activate plan B.
Place a watch on them yourself, or you can call on your best friend. The disadvantage of the second is your big secret is with someone else, and imagine if they disagree, you’re already caught before you strike lol .. terrible right?. .
– Wait till it’s the right time
The right time can be absolutely anytime, maybe when you’re alone at home, or something like when it’s very dark.
You can even befriend someone from the family or offer to help them fetch water, even if they have a borehole.
You just need to keep revolving and hovering around like a military helicopter till the devil says strike.
– Get some food items
You’re going to seduce the chicken the same way you seduce a man.. lol.. here I mean to lure it with what it likes not going stack nàk£d in front of a chicken.
Come with many food items, it’s more like an investment and you’ll be expecting very good returns.
The rice, beans, bread or any other food item will be sprayed and boom, they are following you like the low budget OBO that you are.
Don’t get proud and distracted comrade, remember you have a mission!
– Put on a big top
You should already be putting on a big top or polo. or you have a sack bag that will serve as your secret bullion van 😅.
If people ask why you are putting on the shirt, ignore them and move on. When did your business even become theirs? Just imagine, they don’t even know the kind of stew you’ll be popping tonight. LoL.
– Spray, dive and strike!
Spray the food, dive your favourite chicken and strike. By now you should have your water boiling already because there’s absolutely no time.
Tie the chicken’s mouth very well, take it home and do justice accordingly. Dispose of the waste immediately or your neighbour will know that a comrade who is well known for beef just went pro max.
What are friends for? Be very stingy with it, I repeat be very stingy with it. If you ever share it. they will know the smell of the fowl and come for your dear head.
Remember our agreement, SHARE to your fellow comrades! You don’t know who else will be needing this urgently!” 😂
That’s all from Mr John .. lol ..
Do not forget to share so others can laugh too..
Have a nice day!
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